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Optimus vs. The Critics

As at the time of writing this article I have seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen twice – Once at the, so good only a mechanical god could have come up with it, IMAX cinema, and once at your everyday run-of-the-mill multiplex.

I’m not going to spend my time writing a review because I can’t be arsed, however, I will say that I enjoyed it immensely, and as I had previously written, the movie was exactly as I imagined it to be.

This article today is my personal opinion on reviews and comments from some of those that watched the movie. I am going to critique the critics. Some of these comments left me shaking in anger, (what else is new), and much in the way of pure vitriolic hatred spewed forth from my mouth, as some of the comments I read were just plain stupid.

Although I do not wish to repeat myself too much, what exactly did these moronic inbreds expect? Well, I am going to call it the “Dark Knight Effect“, (a brilliant movie and one you won’t see me insult in any way at all), because I believe people were expecting something a lot more “adult”.

“Character Development” was something that came up in a number of complaints, which left me both shaken and stirred. For god’s sake – THEY’RE GIANT MECHANICAL FUCKING ROBOTS. What more do you want from them? – Talks on philosophy? Discussions on Sun Tzu’s The Art of War? A deep dark love affair between Sam and Arcee? Please, tell me, tell me what you want because I don’t have a clue and I don’t think you do either!

If a movie like Transformers went “Dark” I don’t think it would have been half as good as I found it. Movies like Batman and X-Men have decades of comics and writers behind them. Transformers was based on a cartoon, which was based on a toy range. Yes there were comics and some of them were borderline “Dark”, but for a movie, it just wouldn’t fit. Transformers needs to be big, brash and balls-out. It needs explosions, guns and missiles, if only for the fact that nothing else would work for a movie like this.

The critics are no better. I don’t know what they thought they were going to watch, but to say that the movie was made worse by the introduction of more robots is lame. Why shouldn’t people want more? Star Wars wasn’t made any worse by the introduction of more characters in The Empire Strikes Back was it? Once again the critics show themselves as nothing more than wannabe authors and hacks. Fuck them.

The witless prattling that some of these people made was just to prove how anti-Transformers they are. Why did these people pay good money to watch it? Why did they feel the need to watch a movie just so they could rush home, sit in front of their computer screens and write unnecessary bile about a popcorn movie? Well, they probably have nothing else to waste their time with.

I can only imagine that when they were younger they probably wanted mummy and daddy to buy them some Transformer goodies for Christmas, but received nothing more than a loaf of bread wrapped up in their own overblown sense of self-worth. So now the living breathing pus-buckets sit in front of their PC screens trying to offload their angst on to other people. Well, like a lot of good folk, I’ll ignore them, because I enjoyed the movie and I managed to do so by not expecting too much.

There are movies I hate, some I downright despise, but I’m not going to waste my time telling people how much I hate them. These movies get made because people go to see them, and these idiots writing about it have paid money to see a movie they’ve hated, so I guess the jokes on them.

P.S. To the people that do like it – How cool was Soundwave and Ravage? Seeing them was one fanboy moment I’ll never forget!

Written by: Arron Kasady ……Roll Out!

Optimus vs. The Critics

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